Hot summer night

The night is hot and muggy. What could've been a night of calm and laughter turned instantly into a night of fear, darkness and anxiety of whether to walk away or ride it out.

The day started off with my son going off to help family early in the morning. While me and the two other boys finish the clean up of the old house. At the same time taking care of the 2 year old and handling the house work.  

It would've been helpful if my mum helped out with my 2 year old but she was too busy wanting to go for her walk and going to church. These things don't matter to me as there were more pressing things to be done.

The cleaning at the old house won't get cleaned on its own. Today I managed to do five loads of rubbish run before my headache got worse and called it a day. I had to call my friend if I could have their Ute for 1 more day as I still had rubbish to take to the dump.

Before getting settled for the day we grabbed some groceries from the supermarket for dinner. A hot roast chicken, pasta salad and buns and we were set for dinner. Whilst all this is happening the Mr is at home doing what he normally does. Just drinks his vodka with soda water. When he is at the old house he tends to drink a litre of vodka a day. He arrived on Thursday and has been drinking daily the same thing.

It breaks my heart to know that his mind is slowly deteriorating from his mental illness. Hearing him say that there are people after him and that me and the kids are their puppets doing what they say. When he becomes delusional I back off and not talk as much as I don't want to further trigger his mind. I am still sad at his family not wanting to help with his mental illness. If something ever happens to the Mr, I will make sure his family are not allowed to attend his funeral.

People who live with faith but don't believe enough to support their loved one shows how little faith they have. Like don't go preaching the word of God if you can't make time for your own brother.

We were all relaxed watching the movie Drumline. Myself, the Mr and the twins.  But a third of the way into the movie and it turns off and the speaker plays up. This quickly turned super bad with the Mr saying they are controlling what has just happened trying to get him angry. He was getting angry because the speaker was playing up.

I quickly grabbed the twins and walked out to the lounge. The Mr walked off and started to drink again as he was very worked up. Coming back to the room and seeing no one was in there. He closes the door and goes to sleep.

Now the twins have settled to sleep in the lounge. I go to the room and sleep with the Mr.

Another dilemma i managed to resolve was from parents in my sons rugby team of their dissatisfaction from something the club president had told them. After talking things out with several parents I was able to work things out with them and thankfully were happy to sign their sons up for this year.

The season hasn't started and wow already drama happening at my rugby club.

 

Here we go 2025!